Saturday, June 20, 2009

I wish I had poison eye-vy

I woke up yesterday morning with my eye looking worse and pain that made me cry. I felt like such a baby that poison ivy would make me cry so hard. I saw a specialist yesterday and he quickly determined I have shingles. It's all in perspective you know? I thought having painful poison ivy in my eye was horrible just hours before hearing the word shingles. Now, I want poison ivy. Funny how things change.
I'm truly miserable. It's currently 2am and I've had very little sleep because of the pain. I'm trying many natural remedies and I'm also on an antiviral med. That's the other crazy part of this. I hadn't taken any form of medicine in almost a year an a half. I was excited about that but at this point that is out the window!
I am ordered to rest and rest some more. Shingles isn't something that goes away quickly so I'm aware that I'll endure this pain while enduring the pain of labor. I'm so excited to meet this little baby that's growing inside me. I may only be able to see him or her through one eye while I wince from pain, but I'm still overjoyed at the thought of it. I have said and felt many times that I forget I'm pregnant right now. I doubt many people can say that at 9 months pregnant. This shingle pain overtakes any discomfort of being huge. I guess that's another perspective change I'm facing right now. I am hopeful that being horizontal will help this baby to stay in a little longer so I can heal from this a little.
I have the shingles on my eyelids but thankfully they are not into the nerve endings of my eyeball. Pray they don't go there because that is all bad! I have them on the right side of my nose and forehead and into my hair.....only on my right side. I guess that's a blessing in all of this too. They will only stay on my right side, following my nerve pattern. They shouldn't go down my body, only up.
I'm a pretty strong gal that manages a lot each day. Being flat is good for me in many ways because it causes me to step back and need many people. That's healthy for me. It feels good to be weak and realize that I can't do it all! I'm reminded of II Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you and my power is made perfect in weakness." I need God's power and grace. I know I'll be a better mom to Ethan, Ellia, and this sweet growing baby because of this but it feels hard right now.
Ethan and Ellia asked if my eye was all better since I went to the special doctor. I explained that I would have this for awhile and that I need rest and prayer. Ethan's lip quivered out of sadness for me and Ellia started praying right then. It was a sweet reminder of how loved I am!
I took a picture today of how things have worsened but I'm not able to upload it right now. I'm sure I'll take more as this all progresses. jaw and neck aren't really out. I have swollen lymph nodes all down the right side of my neck. All the pieces to the puzzle fit together when seeing the specialist today. It's just a difficult puzzle, that's all.


Kim Amstutz said...

Haylee! I'm so sorry to hear this. And how ironic, my sister in law is also 9 months prego (c-section scheduled for friday) and found out last week she too has shingles.....weird!
I'll be praying for you friend!

Stephenie said...

Haylee, I love reading your blog! You are such a great writer, and such a neat person. Heck I talk to you everyday and pretty much know this stuff already, but reading it is so fun because you write so well- like Blue Like Jazz. I love you much friend, and remember that me and a lot of other people are here to help- I'm sure everyone agrees that it is an honor to reach out and help someone as wonderful as you. You give so much to others, now it's time to receive!

dragomir family said...

Sorry to hear about your eye! I hope you heal soon, especially before baby Crecco comes! Take all the help you can get. Praying that you heal soon!

Haybee Baby said...

Kim, where did you go? Did you take a break from FB? How is your sister in law? I've been thinking of her. Where were her shingles?

Steph, I love that you got on my blog AND commented:) So special!